my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
