Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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