I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
