i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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