Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
