i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
