why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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