I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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