No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
