i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I stole a fireplace last night.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
