Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
