dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
