i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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