Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
