So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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