Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
