U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
