Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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