didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
