No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
