I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
