I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
