WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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