Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
