How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
