id be glad to
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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