so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
