At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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