Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I stole a fireplace last night.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
