His pubic hair was longer than his dick
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
