Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
