OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
It's Friday. Sex?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Randomize
