Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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