i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
