Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
