We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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