I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
