just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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