yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
