Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
