we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
