why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
