We're like a lot better than the average bears
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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