addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
