No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I checked into jail on foursquare
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
