Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
