I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize