after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
