that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
