Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
