I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
