Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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