I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
In America we eat man semen.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
