quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
