You're so nebulous sometimes
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
