in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
